Now I am not entirely sure if this readjustment phase I wanted to blog about is something other people go through or if it is just something I feel? As I said in my previous post I want to blog throughout this latest deployment and all the thoughts and feelings I journey through to bring strength to other military families also experiencing separation, so we all know we are not alone.
We are in this together.
Read previous post; The emotional fuel tank
A week or so before my husband goes away for a substantial period of time I seem to distance myself, I detach myself from him to prove in my head I can do it alone. This isn’t ideal for anyone because it often ruins that last week or so before a deployment but…it is how I process the situation. It is me proving to myself I am not dependent.
And then he goes.
I always allow myself a week or maybe 10 days to readjust. It is never plain sailing at the beginning because often it is the middle of the night they get up and go or they get delayed, it is always subject to change so in your mind it is hard to feel in control.
Once he’s gone my initial feeling is always sadness, I feel very vulnerable and alone. Doing a load of washing his boxers are still in the laundry basket, his ironing is still in the pile, his slippers are still by the bed and this brings waves of sadness, it seems such a huge mountain of time to climb until he comes home.
Once that washing is done I won’t let myself wallow for more than a day or so it is then time to dig deep, form a routine and be strong. I know I can do this, I always do, it is just remembering how.
My coping mechanism is always to make plans, weekends are the worst especially Sundays so I make sure where I can I see friends or family or have a day out with my girlie, being busy really does make time pass quicker. I have been using the weekly planner template from Little Troopers to help, you can download it for free HERE
This time there is some intermittent WIFI for a week or so which means some what’s app messages so I know he’s OK but we haven’t spoken since he left. When I talk to people outside the military they can never quite get their heads around what we go through, it seems normal to us but so alien to others. It is a strange concept I guess to be apart for months with limited communication.
Do you go through a period of readjustment?
What is your experiences of the first part of deployment?
Nearly a week in now so we are getting in a routine but at the very bottom of the big time mountain, with the odd letter from the postman reminding me that there is a soldier shaped gap in our home right now.
So far only one wobble and that was when one of our fish died and I had to flush it….theses things ALWAYS seem to happen just as they walk out the door!!!
Love Louise xxx
|To ‘keep busy’ we went exploring in the countryside|