Louise's Blog


I feel like a fraud!

I’ve said it before and I will forever be heard saying it…military life is a tale of extremes!

Where we were posted previously for three years was a really operational regiment which meant my husband was forever away, for long deployments then short, frequent bursts, it just seemed a never ending cycle of separation. My husband was in Canada for three months, called me to tell me he was deploying to Afghanistan in 8 weeks for seven months which meant in a year he was away pretty much for 10 months. He went to Latvia, Canada numerous times, Afghanistan, exercises all over the place, courses in all four corners of the country, Egypt diving (?!) the list was endless where he was going next!

If you have followed my previous blogs you know last year was hard, we got an unexpected posting while my husband was deployed and moved 10 days after my husband returned from Afghanistan, it took me a good six months to recover from all that came our way but now here we are seven and a half months on from moving and it is such a different story.

This particular posting is two years and it is a non operational posting, my husband doesn’t even go on exercise, a couple of courses for a few days here and there but that is it. He is home every night, he is around every weekend, I don’t have to worry about long stretches on my own, we can make plans, we can book a holiday, I can meet him for lunch, it is so bloody lovely to have a consistent relationship with my husband.

We are conditioned to expect separation in this life and over the 16 years we have been married it has made up lots of our patchwork in our military journey, we have experienced so many tours and exercises and courses…now we don’t have them at all.

I feel like a totally fraudulent military wife.

What I have come to accept is this time is so needed, these postings if they ever come your way are to be seen as such a blessing and not something we should feel guilty about. It is the perfect opportunity to rebuild relationships, reconnect, refuel, and where we are currently posted it is so remote it really has been the best medicine for me.

I know not everyone can get these postings and I also know two years will fly by…in fact we are already over a quarter of the way through and then our respite will be up and separation will once again come our way but right now I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be embarrassed telling people or waste time feeling like a fraud I should just appreciate that after 19 years of military life a little rest never hurt anyone!

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About Louise

Louise herself served in the British Army and saw active service in Kosovo. Her husband is a serving soldier who has undertaken six operational tours of duty since their daughter was born in 2003. Louise is passionate about helping all the Little Troopers at home through the anxiety of deployment and also the stress of a long course or exercise having experienced first hand the impact it can have.

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One Response

  1. Oh lovely. Definitely not a fraud. It certainly depends on postings how much they are away but that is the nature of the beast I guess. I know people whose spouses always seem to be away and others who are never away. But that could be because that is when they are more vocal. It also isn’t a “competition” although some seem to think it is… It is certainly generally “easier” these days when they are away thanks to social media… The days of numbering an ebluey so they are read in the right order are long gone. I don’t know… ultimately we all just try and muddle through don’t we and count our blessings xx

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